His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Randomize
