Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize