I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
