Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
