I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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