my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
