Why are handjobs necessary in class?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
