Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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