My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
