I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
