somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
