If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
