i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
