went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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