Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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