all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
