yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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