yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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