Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
