I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
You are the jesus of drinking
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
