She is in my trunk
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
