god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
