Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
