Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Are my feet made of real feet?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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