When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Thank you for not boning my boss.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
