How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
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