I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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