One girl and one boy is just not enough.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
