At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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