My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Randomize