i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
