Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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