waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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