bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize