How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
