im drinking this country out of the recession.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
