Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize