Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Randomize
