he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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