In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
