Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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