party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
