the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
