Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
