hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
