I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Randomize
