And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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