sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
two words...techno handjob
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
