I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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