im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
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