just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
