dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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