areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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