You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Randomize
