i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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