I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
He kissed a someone with a penis
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
