I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
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