She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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