I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I need a burrito and a hug.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
