We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
