Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
