Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
